My Morning Movement Practice
Maybe you’ve noticed how much buzz there has been recently about morning routines. Do you have an AM ritual in place?
I definitely do. I mean the ritual is always changing. It ebbs and flows with the seasons, my energy levels, my interests, and my priorities. But, bottom line, I’m totally a creature of habit. I love my rituals because they keep me grounded.
On the other hand, when anything starts getting hyped up by the Human Optimization — Elite Performance — Hack Your Life crowd…I quickly become too cool for school.
Not saying it’s right…that’s just how my weirdo brain works. But I KNOW I’m not the only rebel out there with bandwagon issues.
I can’t get on-board with a 10-steps-to-being-a-perfect-human (robot) morning formula.
I can get on-board with making one up myself. Try this.
Immediately upon rising…
- Calculate you heart rate variability…by hand.
- Draw a blood sample…while simultaneously collecting a urine sample.
- Do 139 Wim Hof breaths. The louder the better.
- Immerse yourself in a vat of ice water and hold your breath for 7 minutes. (Look, do you want to be healthy or not??)
- Practice taking yourself very seriously while doing only FRC-approved mobility training.
- Drink 497mL of spring water that’s been blessed by a shaman…add lemon (lemon must be blessed by a different shaman).
- Poop…then journal about your pooping experience.
- Down a productivity supplement stack with an Venti Bulletproof coffee.
- Do some Onnit Mace yoga®…if anyone steps to you, show no mercy.
- Crush an entire audiobook or multiple episodes of the Joe Rogan podcast on 4x speed. Don’t worry about retention, there’s no quiz.
Now you’re ready to dominate!
With the morning owned, the rest of the day will surely bow to you.
But I see this fuckery on a daily basis in the health & fitness world. I make fun of it because I’m not immune to it…no one is. (Also, because it’s super fun)
I am, however, a firm believer in experimenting with various practices and coming to find the rituals that are truly meaningful to us as individuals.
A few weeks back, someone asked me to share my morning movement practice. I kind of deflected it…
I said every day is different…I listen to my body…I adjust to my surroundings…blah blah blah…to be honest, I usually just do whatever.
But I got over myself and lined out a routine that felt good for my mornings. I’ve been playing with it ever since and decided it was good to share. \
So here it is…My Morning Movement Practice
It’s 30 minutes. It’s minimalist. It’s easy to follow along with. It’s got spinal waves and some other weird shit in it. It feels really good.
One guy on YouTube says he “chose it over yoga and it was just as refreshing.” So…basically 10/10?? Yup, we’ll go with that.
Or this…
Move your body in the morning.
Journal some words.
Give someone a hug.
Drink some coffee.
Go be awesome.
